Switchin' it off

there're a lot of things in life that require some form of self-control: food, exercise, the net... but the main thing i think a lot of us have absolutely no desire to control, is emotional expression. we don't really wanna repress our hugs just because it's a social no-no (especially when that person's committed to a relationship), or blow up in a god-awful driver's face (for that attractive hole he/she made on the passenger side), or sob in a movie theater during previews (hey, the dad could've stayed home with his family instead of flying off to some business meeting). however, in some special cases where there has been a transition - where instead of blowing up when you're angry, you cry - there really is little or no control.

there comes an age in every person's life when we stop experiencing teenage angst, and become sobbing idiots instead whenever we feel like bashing someone with a pillowcase (reinforced, of course) full of bricks. i'm talking about when we should be standing up for ourselves, talking back at the boss, finally putting our foot down on the plumber who was due to fix the toilet three weeks ago, and getting angry for something or someone who deserves to feel the heat a tad. i don't know about you, but i hit that stage at 17 (kinda early, but yeah).

so why do we feel the need to switch off that button that allows us to be the emotional hothead? because we don't feel like fighting anymore for our rights and what we want? no... cuz we just don't wanna fight, period. we learn, eventually, that when someone yells at you, and you yell back, it's just gonna spark off another set of yelling matches. we're sick of the spit coming out of those heartless black holes. so instead of enduring a whole hour of spit, we only endure a few minutes. let them yell till they're blue in the face (pardon the cliche), smile (or grimace) and walk away with the satisfying thought that most people yell and scream because they're simply not evolutionarily advanced enough to articulate their thoughts in a coherent and civilized manner. when they pick fights, it's because they have something to prove... usually to themselves. but still, that logic doesn't feel as good as it should. i wouldn't mind being able to come back with a biting remark of my own (without the yelling and screaming of course), or something ingenious and sarcastic to boggle the mind of the Neanderthal with the black hole.