It's a TCK Thing
the last post would be a bit mind-boggling for those who don't know what i'm talking about. it's kind of like a private joke gone sour really, between me and my high-school buddies.
for those of you who grew up (and by that, i mean growing up between the ages of 13 and 18, maybe even 21) in a country not the one stated by their passports, you'll know what i'm talking about. it's those crucial years you had to go through, finding out who you are and who you wanna strive to become, those years when your friends become your primary influential figures instead of your parents, and you think all adults are dull and painfully strict. well, i've got news for ya... not all of us had a "normal" teenage-hood.
see, a TCK is a "third culture kid". they're kids who grew up in a "foreign" country, for whatever reason, and eventually grew up to adopt that country as their own. it's all they know, and all the friends they made ARE family. they probably grew up with a different school system, with different social protocols and norms. they've probably seen things that kids "back home" would never see unless they were there themselves, and could scarcely imagine to be "normal". but what is normal? and who says that we HAVE to be normal? if i wanted to be normal to someone else's standards, i would probably have more friends. but i don't, because i am who i am, and i won't be confined to someone else's standards of normalcy in order to please someone. it's not worth my time, and those people are not worth forfeiting core values and beliefs, cuz sometimes that's what it takes.
who are these people to say "you're weird; i thought you were one of us"? but sadly, we're not a species made for isolation. we need people, and we need a certain degree of understanding or even just mere acceptance of the kind of people we are. but i urge TCK's not to give up what they know, not to change too much of who they've become as a result of growing up overseas. however, having said all that, we do need to let go. we need to let go of the fact that there will never be people such as those we knew back "home", that we will never be able to be the same exact person we were then and there. we need to grow. we need to thank those people for having made an impact and contribution in our lives, and we need to accept that we need to let go of that excruciating hope that we'll find that life again.
we're TCK's, we don't have a single home, we have many. we may have to adapt to different types of societies and norms in order to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings (or worse, jail time in some countries), but we don't have to give up those core values and beliefs. be true to the self that you know is there, don't be someone you're not. don't settle for superficial "friendships", find people who are willing to open their world up to you and for you to share yours with them. those who WANT to know you for who you are, for the experiences you've gone through, for the memories and stories that you've accumulated over the time you've been away. they are precious to you, and they ought to be appreciated, not scorned.
for those of you who grew up (and by that, i mean growing up between the ages of 13 and 18, maybe even 21) in a country not the one stated by their passports, you'll know what i'm talking about. it's those crucial years you had to go through, finding out who you are and who you wanna strive to become, those years when your friends become your primary influential figures instead of your parents, and you think all adults are dull and painfully strict. well, i've got news for ya... not all of us had a "normal" teenage-hood.
see, a TCK is a "third culture kid". they're kids who grew up in a "foreign" country, for whatever reason, and eventually grew up to adopt that country as their own. it's all they know, and all the friends they made ARE family. they probably grew up with a different school system, with different social protocols and norms. they've probably seen things that kids "back home" would never see unless they were there themselves, and could scarcely imagine to be "normal". but what is normal? and who says that we HAVE to be normal? if i wanted to be normal to someone else's standards, i would probably have more friends. but i don't, because i am who i am, and i won't be confined to someone else's standards of normalcy in order to please someone. it's not worth my time, and those people are not worth forfeiting core values and beliefs, cuz sometimes that's what it takes.
who are these people to say "you're weird; i thought you were one of us"? but sadly, we're not a species made for isolation. we need people, and we need a certain degree of understanding or even just mere acceptance of the kind of people we are. but i urge TCK's not to give up what they know, not to change too much of who they've become as a result of growing up overseas. however, having said all that, we do need to let go. we need to let go of the fact that there will never be people such as those we knew back "home", that we will never be able to be the same exact person we were then and there. we need to grow. we need to thank those people for having made an impact and contribution in our lives, and we need to accept that we need to let go of that excruciating hope that we'll find that life again.
we're TCK's, we don't have a single home, we have many. we may have to adapt to different types of societies and norms in order to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings (or worse, jail time in some countries), but we don't have to give up those core values and beliefs. be true to the self that you know is there, don't be someone you're not. don't settle for superficial "friendships", find people who are willing to open their world up to you and for you to share yours with them. those who WANT to know you for who you are, for the experiences you've gone through, for the memories and stories that you've accumulated over the time you've been away. they are precious to you, and they ought to be appreciated, not scorned.
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