Home Sweet Home

for the most part, the majority of teenagers can't wait for the time when they set out on their own... off to college, living life they way they think ought to be lived, and basically set themselves up for a major shock when their parents aren't there to clean up after they make a mess of things. as with all good things, that comes to a screeching halt when you suddenly realize that... you actually miss your family. and not just miss them because you don't smell mom's home-cooking in the evenings when you're, or you don't hear your dad telling your kid brother to leave you alone (and he actually does), or when your brother buys you an ice-cream when he's at the store getting something for himself. no. i mean seriously missing them just because they're not there, not because you no longer benefit from some of the things they do for you.

don't laugh. despite being a full-grown woman, i miss the smell of my mom's towels, my dad's travel stories when he's home at night, even my brothers' jokes and habits that i find annoying (like never remembering to close the cap on the toothpaste tube). i miss all that made us a family... now we're spread out over three different countries, and it makes it so hard to live life day to day. they are my support system, my blood-connection, the ones who are bound to love me no matter how screwed up i am. i know that, having said all that, i would go crazy if i lived under the same roof with them for too long, especially if my brothers are there. but it doesn't mean that i couldn't live somewhere close enough that, if i wanted to, i could get on a bus or small airplane and see them over the weekend. i stayed with my parents and younger brother for the last two months in bangkok, and i managed to have a lot of fun, conversations, and valuable insight. i felt so at peace and so comforted by the familiar smells of home, the routines, family quirks. it was safe and welcoming. i haven't had that for a long time.