My Lucky Stars

sometimes we forget how fortunate we are... we have a safe home to live in, people who love us, food to eat, clothes to wear, and money to buy the things we desire. we gripe instead about how unfair it was that we didn't get what we wanted for christmas, or that we didn't get to take that vacation we'd been planning for. well, for once in my life, i'm thankful i didn't get to take that vacation.

my family had been planning to go to phuket for the christmas vacation, and we would've been there the morning the tsunami hit the coastline. my family of five, plus a friend who would've gone with us, would've been swept away along with the unfortunate local thais and tourists there dead or missing. despite all efforts, i haven't been able to get that thought out of my mind since the morning we watch the news on tv. who would've known? i haven't told many people about the supposed trip to phuket... we could've gone missing and not many people would've known, especially friends from ics. but that's not what's really bugging me... i'm bugged that if we had all been there, i would've lost someone. i know i could've lost my mom, since she's the one who can't swim. on the other hand, who could've known? maybe it could've been my dad, despite being the strongest swimmer in the family. if i would've survived, i don't know what i would've done. on the other hand, i could've been the one swept away and never return to my family.

would they have known how much i didn't wanna leave? would they have known that i've tried my best to be the daughter they can be proud of? would they have known that i would've done everything to see them again? would they have known me now? i can't answer all of those.