Sunday, March 27, 2005

Final Destinations

do we all have one path to travel, or do we have the option of branching out from that path or even take another one? how do we know which path to take? how do we make that choice? number of life-questions: infinite; number of answers: nil.

perhaps it's the mind that is manipulative and not the person in general. maybe the mind is a subconscious form of divine control that never fails to let loose some profound wisdom or logic (and the other) in order to make one rethink the choices to be made. either way, my mind's hurting at the moment. the throbbing on the left side of my posterior lobe is telling me i really should pop a couple of paracetamol tabs right this minute before i pass out from trying to fight it. must've been the two-hour mental war i had with my mind last night. i lost, by the way.

there are lots to do to keep me preoccupied, but ironically, those are the exact things that are keeping me from getting anything done. perhaps i'm looking too much into things, maybe i over-analyze, and maybe i should just tell my brain to shut its proverbial pie-hole and let me live free and happy in blissful ignorance. maybe i should've been born during the time of neanderthals, when things were as easy as gather food, shelther self, propagate, and avoid being dragged by the hair by some overbearing ape. who cares about careers, taxes, painful relationships, obeying the law, the future... the thing is, when a person has had their most basic needs met, they tend to complicate their own lives by thinking more so, than if they were struggling to make ends meat.

maybe i'm too free... maybe i've had it so good that i just don't know what else to do with myself. there's the red light flashing in the back of my mind, warning me that things could be worse, that i could put myself in a position where there's no one to turn to and no one to help me... then i would start feeling grateful for all the things and people i have in my life. it's easter weekend afterall, supposed to be thankful for the son of god rising from the dead to give the world life, hope and salvation. it's supposed to bring a little peace to the heart and soul... "supposed" to.

note to self: must keep life clutter free and simple. don't overthink things.