That Time of the Year

it's coming to the end of the year and we all know what that means... it means that we'll be running around for the next month or so trying to do what we promised ourselves we'd do last year... it means an additional 5 minutes to your wrinkle-detection session in the bathroom while your partner (on the other side of the door, of course) is yelling that he's late for work for the five-hundreth time... it means that we've gotten older and, yet, none the wiser (another thing to add to your list of "to-dos")... it means that we have to come up with yet another string of new-year's resolutions to be tucked away for the next 364 days (and spend that last day trying to fulfill it).

maybe we should all try a different perspective on the new year's this time around. maybe instead of being a borderline-extreme pessimist, i'll just try and be a reasonably level-headed pessimist. i really don't like the new year's.... on new year's eve i tend to reflect on the sour events and embarrassing moments of the past year, so i don't forget that i'm supposed to have learnt something of value and take it with me to the next round of days, weeks and months. i'd rather not do that this time. i'd rather just say, "bygones" (fishiscm - ally mcbeal) and actually mean it. que sera sera, no?

it's not that i wasted my time pondering on the past, it's just that i'm tired of the past. the past haunts, the future is much more amiable since there's still time to change it. why allow yourself to wallow in what's been done? there are no what-ifs or maybes, there are only so-whats. so something bad happened, why waste more time thinking about why it was so bad and how it effected you emotionally and spiritually and how your therapist says that you just need to face the daemons of your childhood and then pay them $300 and hour to allow you to talk about yourself and how screwed up you are? why not save that time and $300 dollars, go buy yourself a hot new number and accessories to match and take your girls out for a "sex on the beach". it's not to say that bad things won't happen anymore, just that you'll still have that outfit and your good friends to cheer you up when it does. let it not be said that i'm a doomed pessimist, but rather that i am one who hopes for the best, yet can still drink to the worst. cheers!

A Hard Lesson Learnt

there is a point in time when you find out who your true friends are, and find out who's just come along for the ride, not caring if he/she hurts anyone else in the meantime. in this life, it's important to pick and choose the people you associate yourself with. nothing is worse than having taken a chance on a "friend" only to end up feeling used and like a fool.

its not wise to judge a book by its cover, it seems. for all those people who seem nice, who seem sincere, who seem warm (at first) it takes some time before their true colors show, before they feel comfortable enough to take down that veil and show exactly how distorted and two-faced they are. by then, it's too late. you're caught - hook, line and sinker. on the other hand, there's the other type of friend, with whom you didn't really get along with at first because you believed them to be snipe, sarcastic and don't give a damn. but you end up falling in love with those people because, if anything, you know that they'll tell you straight to your face (and not behind your back) if you're being a jackass. a friend will give you the hard truth, while the toxic associates, using a friend's analogy, "line their words with arsenic". they'll sugar-coat their insults, and you'll end up wondering why it hurt so much... then it hits you: they're sly and devious little hell-raisers who would like nothing more than to put someone down just to make themselves feel more superior.

i've had my share of toxic friends. anyone who has, at any one point, back-stabbed me, for no other reason than to better their own situation or boost their own egos, have been unceramoniously dropped. i'm tired. you hear me? i'm tired of you people who have no sense of appreciation for the "nice guy"... who take for granted every decent friend you've ever had... who are selfish enough to pull one over a friend just so you get what you want out of a situation... and you don't give a rat's ass that you've hurt them. i hope you choke on your own metaphorical poison. i hope you'll one day realize - when you're old and no one wants to be around you, not even your dog - that you should've thought things over a little more and been a little more appreciative of the things people in the past have done for you and SHOWN it. but then it'll be too late, cuz you would've driven away those people who were kind and generous to you... you accepted you as you were and expected nothing but kindness and consideration in return. you make your own bed, and i hope you're very, VERY, uncomfortable in it.